twentyone ?

officially 21.
goshhhhhh.

okayyyy. chill,, farah.
21 aint that bad.
kan dah boley ngundi.
mcm mngundi je kannn.
haha.

hard rock,, be prepared. =)

well,, spent the day with my loved ones.
here in jB.
nothing more i could wish for.
it would be better if you were here,, though,, b.
imysm.

next up.
final exam.

JOY !

eat. pray. love.

its been a while.
life's been hectic.
to say that i've been busy being a student,,
would be a hell of a lie.
pfft.
but i have been busy.
with stuff.
went to melaka twice last week.
mndy air panas skali.
hantar nard balek skali.

paling best mase hantar nard laa.
last saturday.
lepas kitchen class,, shoo melaka.
then blek kJ,, shoot andarlus plak jmp acap.
fuuuhhhh.
demam teros the next day.
result of being too tired,, or shisha overdosed.
im not sure.
haha.
thank you b sbb jage sy.
and your housemates as well.
especially cika. ;)

today,, here i am in jB.
its raya,, so.
bro's not here though.

since i'll be having one last kitchen class on saturday,,
mama might be sending me tomorrow.
or i'll be going back on my own.
not sure as well.
im starting to realize,,
i am VERY bad in planning stuff.
whatever i plan never works out.
its whatever decided on the very last minute that usually go thru.
dah bnyk kali kne marah dgan arm sbb tuka2 plan.
ngeee. sorry b. awk tao sy mcm mane kan. haha.

damnit3 ! final dah dekat gle.
but tak rase ape2.
sem nie is one of the worst laa.
haishhhh.

whatever it is.
gtg. harry porter premier in a few hours.

B,, sy rndu awk sgt !

xoxo.

this is me.

tolong jgan ckap aku lupa kawan boley ?
because that's just aint me.
aku susah ke,, aku senang ke.
tak pernah luoa mmber bhai.
kalao org tu bermakne dlam hidop aku,, aku takkan tolak tepi.
that's me.

but if you're the one who forgets about me,, than im sorry.
you called em up,, and said that u needed me.
but honey,, where where you when i needed you ?
dont blame me if i drift away.

my life revolves around my friends,, its true.
at this point of time,, friends are everything to me.
and yess,, i put friends first,, after my family.
i love my friends.
yg nanges same2,, yg ketawa same2.
yg buat bnd2 bodo same2.

but then,,
YOU.
you went away,, because u have someone special in ur life.
and i respect your privacy.
kecik hati pon,, takde laa nak touching,,sygg.
its your life,, i get it.
your style are not as same as mine.

so,, im sorry i cant be there for you when you needed me.
but sy dah tawar hati.
i cherish every moment we spent together.
but,, yeah. what else can i say right.

post nie utk a few people in my life yg pernah rapat.
then korg hilang.
and then cy aku ble bosan and ble ade prob je.
sorry.
sorry if aku tak reply,, tak angkat calls or tak jmpe.

i am me.
love me for me.
okay ? ;D

metamorphosis.

do you think its impossible to turn your life around ?
when what you have now is soooooo good ?
well,, im gonna try.
one of my friends,, made me realize it.
she's young. 18. younger than me.
but i gotta admit,, wiser than me.
much wiser.

she could survive,, living with rm50 per week.
50 hengget bhai. dkat kJ tuu.
mcm mane nak hidop !
im amazed.
really i am.
nak buat mcm tuu jgak.
but not 50 laaa.
mcm impossible. imma do 100 per week.
i'll try.
yg laen simpan. agak2 ckop tak ea ?
almost half of what im spending now.

haihhhh.
dgan rokok lagi naek harga.
FUCKHHHH. i hate budget 2010.
apesal taknak naekkan 50 hengget je sekotak kannnn ! sheesh.
therefore,, dah beli 1 carton siap2 dkat jB nie.
ngeee.

okay.
no more pool after class !
REALLY ! NO MORE !
alaaaa. :(
but that's the price i gotta pay la kann.
well maybe once a week okay kot.
heh.
then,,
takde dah nak berjoli sane sini okay.
imma buy things that i need. only what i NEED.

so,, cume perlu risao topup and makan.
i'll manage,, i think.
lepaq-ing will be reduced to once every 2 days.
SHITTT. ni yg susa. but kne cuba.

NO MORE GETTING STONED !
heh.

the rest for transportation.
okay kot.
haaa. wish me luck ya'll.

spending time here in jB this weekend made me realize.
mama sent me there to study.
that's the main point.
but somehow i drifted.
taknak la ape jd dkat uitm dlu jd blek.
almost bhai.
so,, i gotta do something about it.
im not gonna disappoint her. not again.

imma hit the shower,, then off to bed.
early start tmorrow. nak blek kL pagi.
rabu dah ade quiz,, tak reti2 nak study kann.
smp chap 6 plak.
haha. buku ttgal.

so,, till then.
xoxo.

nymphetamine.

so here i am.
in jB.
back for the weekend. and i have no kitchen class on teusday,,
so i might as well stay till then.
mcm tak biase skip class kan. haha. so,,
im skipping monday class.
obviously,, since im here,,
didnt get a chance to attend the halloween party.
sheesh.
whatever though. those days are gone.

last year's halloween party was awesome though.
celebrated at purebar. with 'her' of course.
pfft.
this year,, jd budak baek. okay ?
haha. sumpah tak boley blaa.

but yeaaa,, im planning to quit clubbin and drinking.
drinking basicly.
afterall,, i've been sober for five whole months. HURRAH !
=)

slowly laa. slowly getting rid of these bad habbits.
nak stop get stoned plak. ble ntah. soon lahh. kot. kannn ?
haha.
turning 21 soon. gotta turn my life around.
rase mcm dah tua ow.
no more fooling around nie.
epiphony. i think i got an epihony. ;)
ngeeeee. teringat homer simpson. HAHA !

skarang tgah addicted to this song.
nymphetamine by cradle of filth.
whoa3. not like im into heavy metal now.
just this one song.
the lyrics are quite hard to interpret,, but from what i understand.
its actually a love song.
nymph - a beautiful goddess,, and amphetamine - a type of drug.
the song tells the story about how the guy is so addicted to the girl.
and how the girl reminiscence their time spent together.
i simply cant get enuff of the song !

" bared on your tomb,,
im a prayer of your loneliness.
and would you ever soon come above unto me ?
for once upon a time,, from the binds of your loneliness.
i could always find the right slot of your sacred key. "

xD xD xD xD xD

so,,
nard and biey came to hang on friday.
they called.
so i postponed my trip to jb till yesterday.
*sighs.
a lot has changed.
nard,, aku syg kao. and i'll try my best to be there for you whenever you need someone.
okay ?
i really dont know what to say.
malam tuu lepaq ramai2.
nard,, biey,, eva,, arm and epy.
murni ss2 jd mangsa.
everyone gelak mcm org gila.
im glad we had fun,, guys.
im looking foward for more "fun' days like that one.
cewahhh. bru tdy ckap nak turn life around kann.
pfft.

aite.
im running out of stories to tell.

b,,
sy rndu awk mnyk3 !
cant wait to see you again.
really,, imy.
;'(