i'll get used to it eventually.

dear blog,,

i dont know what's been going on with me today.
i dont know why but im just not up for anything today.
as if im really cranky.
my friends called to hang out,, but what can i say,,
im just not up for it.
i just want to be alone.
which i think im not being my self.
at all.
that's so odd.

i missed her so much today.
and i cant stop thinking bout her.
the whole day today.
it just kills my mood.

my sister keeps asking if im okay.
i guess she could see that i was feeling so blue.
haha,, the funny story is that

my nephew came to me just now,, when i was listening to my mp3.
all of the sudden he aked me :
"mamarah,, mane kakak meen ?"
i couldnt answer him.
i burst into tears that very momment.
that lil' kid remembered her.
that would mean she must've done something right afterall,, right ?

ntah laa.

i was watching tv just now,,
and twilight was showing.
haha.
watching it for the first time after we broke up.
made me thought about our first time watching it
in the cinema.

she held my hand tight,, hugged me close as i was feeling cold.
i miss that momment.
that very momment.
i wish i could have that momment again.
i wish.

kills me when i know that she's doing it with someone else now.
but whatever lahh.

*sighs.

i miss youu,, nur athira syakina.
i miss you so damn much today.
and yes,, i fucking hate myself for that.

but i cant help it.
you scarred me so bad,, so deep.
leaving me breathless,, and clueless.
you took my love.
tear my heart apart.
but still,, imysm.

let tomorrow be better.
lets hope everything will fall into it's place.
but for now,, i just wanna tell you that imissyou.




i'll lock you in my heart forever.