miracle happens once in a while.

*tarik nafas dalam2. coz this is gonna be one long post.

i couldnt sleep.

first : the air cond broke down. tetibe buat hal pulak. padahal baru je servis.

not to say im gedik or anything. tp dah biasa. so malam nie mcm panas sikit,, i'd rather tak tido.

hopefully esok dah biasa,, so boleh tdo. pfft.

secondly,, im like addicted to this series HIMYM.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

my brother got hold of the whole 6 seasons from the beginning,, so

memang layan citer nie je lah memanjang. which lead me to the third reason why i cant sleep.

thirdly : i cant miss class tmorrow. i really3 cant.

its garde manger. and my garde manger was supposed to be on monday,,

which i didnt attend,, due to overslept,, because i slept at 5 am the night before,, because i was watching HIMYM. and completing some assgnments.

okay people,, including last monday,, i've missed 4 garde manger classes. IN A ROW.

thats 4 weeks equivalent to a whole month !

HOWEVER,, 1 class was canceled by the lecturer,, and i was on MC for another class and that leaves us with two classes. tomorrow i'm attending his class (with another group - also my classmates) so that made me absent for only one of his class. right ?

still,, i got the feeling he's gonna be nagging and asking,, and nagging,, and nagging.

i got kinda freaked out. and here i am blogging my heart out.

just hope that everything will go well tomorrow.

so I CANT SLEEP !

i cant miss his class again.

yeah,, another thing,, my samsung phone dah rosak. i didnt even get a chance to copy all the important numbers.

well,, its time anyway. brapa tahun dah pakai fone tu. brape kali jatuh dah. berenang dlm air tembikai pun pernah. heee.

so.

what am i supposed to say tmorrow ?

what excuse can possibly make up for absence of four classes in a row ?!

gahhhh !

it kills me. im so dead tomorrow.

i mean he could bar me. he really could.

coz those 3 weeks,, i missed a lot. most if the chapters would be up in the final exams.

so i might as well drop the paper right ?

oh well,, just see how it goes 2mrw.

pray for me,, guys. =/

another thing. i kinda think that i havent been letting my stress out lately.

i mean,, i dont talk to people so much,, coz most of my problems are quite personal.

so i smoke. i smoke and smoke and smoke. (cigarettes) until the other day,, i puked my lungs out before i go to sleep. and fuck it,, my chest hurts so much that time.

it got really hard to breath.

macam semput pun ada jugak.

and my temper (oh the temper).

i got upset and mad like every single day now.

hari2 mengamuk. tumbuk dinding. tiang lampu. campak barang.

most of the time sebab bende kecik je.

sometimes i just feel like im going out of my mind.

and yess,, sygg sy tu la asek terkena tempias nye.

im sorry bie. bare with me okay.

what should i do ?

stress is building itself inside of me and i dont know how to get rid of it.

sometimes i just cant control my emotions,, i cried.

even over the smallest things.

i dont know. *sighs.

i hope things'll change soon.

who knows. miracle comes in the form of something we wont even realize.

* i believe in miracles now ? whoaaa. pfft.