one blood.

dear blog.

i know i have neglected you recently.

for the past few months actually.

but you're still the one i come to to pour my heart out.

im currently in johor. sem break.

bro's having his break as well,, so the household is complete.

class will be starting on the 6th. and results will be out the day before that.

not looking forward,, really.

life's okay. except for the fact that i've gained weight over the months.

yeahhhh. my eating habit got way out of control.

i worry for my self sometimes. wish it would stop. sighs.

i really2 think i should stop smoking.

i started noticing lines on my face,, under my eyes.

i wish its just that easy. determination is not there.

went to the dentist today.

fuck i hate dentists ! they'll start nagging and telling you that you should stop smoking and

take care of your teeth and bla bla bla. boring ! dah la sakit !

"your gump is really weak" uhhhhh ! thats why i went to you,, dear dentist !

buat je diam2 takbley ? kene jgak membebel ? menyamp !

i stayed home mostly here.

went out with yulie a couple of times,, and with sad once.

other than that just groceries shopping with mama.

sometimes i feel like my life,, this time last year,, was the total opposite. pfft.

so,, was watching HIMYM (how i met your mother) lastnight.

season 7,, episode 10 made me cry. ='(

made me realize that sometimes people,, even the ones we love so much,,

wont appreciate our sacrifices,, no matter how big they are.

its every man for himself,, sometimes. life is cruel.

family crisis. a brother needs her sister right now,, gotta go.

we had a big fight yesterday. and i said some hurtful stuff to him.

i didnt mean it bro. i love you.

your blood runs in mine. i'm sorry.

imy,, anak pakcik ibrahim.

SUNFLOWER.

it's yellow shines brightly,,

just as the sun.

people choose roses mostly,,

but i think sunflowers have more fun.

blooming as tall as they can be,,

they became all flowers' king.

just like you my dearest hubby,,

with you i'm flying without wings.

surrounded by pretty yellow petals,,

no thorns so it does no harm.

my heart made of steels and metals,,

you melt away with your gifted charms.

enough said of how much i love you,,

may our love bloom forever.

dedicating this to my only bubu,,

for you are my beloved sunflower.

two thousand and twelve already.

hope its not too late to wish everyone a very happy new year !
=)
2012. the year the world would come to an end. so they say.
but who knows,, really.
only God.

im currently in jb.
ended my fifth semester last week and here i am.
weee.
had a feeling this sem's result wont be as great as previous sems.
but im still hoping.

i really2 miss blogging.
but my netbook is experiencing kerosakan wifi.
it cant connect to wifi-s connection.
ni pun pakai laptop mama.
kalau tak online pakai fone je lah.
and there's no fun in blogging thru fone.

anywho.
as promised. i managed to upload these two videos bout my family in youtube.
kalau berminat,, tgok. kalau taknak,, tak payah.
=)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz7OmpA6wsk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cuvqan4LZYM

another video is yet to be uploaded.

so,, new project : cupcakes.
i have to make cupcakes for an engagement.
people started ordering,, bla bla bla.
till then.

xoxo.

looking back.

before we know it,,

we're at the ending of the year 2011.

we've become another year older.

we gained another year of experiences.

we lost friends,, families,, loved ones.

still,, we gained new ones.

i've been busy with the assignments and all the preparations for my final exams.

(two weeks time)

and i have to get a few slide shows done for my family reunion next week.

of course the task was given months earlier,,

but me being me,, tgal seminggu bru nak buat lah kan.

so i got lotsa photos of the family.

zaman aku tak wujud lagi pun ada. gambar hitam putih.

haha.

and then gamba masa kecik2,, masa rambut mushroom.

heee.

have u ever look at the young-you photo,,

and just wondered if u had known that you'd turn out to be the now-you.

would you do anything about it ? would u change anything ?

honestly,, looking back,,

i thought i'd be someone very different from who i am now.

im not saying i dont like me. but.

idk. how else could i had been right.

so dear readers,, do u like who u turned out to be ?

is life okay for you ?

i think. however life turned out to be for us,,

make full use of it.

u can be who you want be. the door will always be open.

unless,, of course,, you die. haha.

just kidding.

gotta go. two slide shows to be done. i'll upload it when its finish.

i love you,, blog.

miracle happens once in a while.

*tarik nafas dalam2. coz this is gonna be one long post.

i couldnt sleep.

first : the air cond broke down. tetibe buat hal pulak. padahal baru je servis.

not to say im gedik or anything. tp dah biasa. so malam nie mcm panas sikit,, i'd rather tak tido.

hopefully esok dah biasa,, so boleh tdo. pfft.

secondly,, im like addicted to this series HIMYM.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

my brother got hold of the whole 6 seasons from the beginning,, so

memang layan citer nie je lah memanjang. which lead me to the third reason why i cant sleep.

thirdly : i cant miss class tmorrow. i really3 cant.

its garde manger. and my garde manger was supposed to be on monday,,

which i didnt attend,, due to overslept,, because i slept at 5 am the night before,, because i was watching HIMYM. and completing some assgnments.

okay people,, including last monday,, i've missed 4 garde manger classes. IN A ROW.

thats 4 weeks equivalent to a whole month !

HOWEVER,, 1 class was canceled by the lecturer,, and i was on MC for another class and that leaves us with two classes. tomorrow i'm attending his class (with another group - also my classmates) so that made me absent for only one of his class. right ?

still,, i got the feeling he's gonna be nagging and asking,, and nagging,, and nagging.

i got kinda freaked out. and here i am blogging my heart out.

just hope that everything will go well tomorrow.

so I CANT SLEEP !

i cant miss his class again.

yeah,, another thing,, my samsung phone dah rosak. i didnt even get a chance to copy all the important numbers.

well,, its time anyway. brapa tahun dah pakai fone tu. brape kali jatuh dah. berenang dlm air tembikai pun pernah. heee.

so.

what am i supposed to say tmorrow ?

what excuse can possibly make up for absence of four classes in a row ?!

gahhhh !

it kills me. im so dead tomorrow.

i mean he could bar me. he really could.

coz those 3 weeks,, i missed a lot. most if the chapters would be up in the final exams.

so i might as well drop the paper right ?

oh well,, just see how it goes 2mrw.

pray for me,, guys. =/

another thing. i kinda think that i havent been letting my stress out lately.

i mean,, i dont talk to people so much,, coz most of my problems are quite personal.

so i smoke. i smoke and smoke and smoke. (cigarettes) until the other day,, i puked my lungs out before i go to sleep. and fuck it,, my chest hurts so much that time.

it got really hard to breath.

macam semput pun ada jugak.

and my temper (oh the temper).

i got upset and mad like every single day now.

hari2 mengamuk. tumbuk dinding. tiang lampu. campak barang.

most of the time sebab bende kecik je.

sometimes i just feel like im going out of my mind.

and yess,, sygg sy tu la asek terkena tempias nye.

im sorry bie. bare with me okay.

what should i do ?

stress is building itself inside of me and i dont know how to get rid of it.

sometimes i just cant control my emotions,, i cried.

even over the smallest things.

i dont know. *sighs.

i hope things'll change soon.

who knows. miracle comes in the form of something we wont even realize.

* i believe in miracles now ? whoaaa. pfft.